


Stay

by Ruuger



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 06:51:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5995678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ruuger/pseuds/Ruuger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She would have to be the general now.  Not a wife or a mother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tjs_whatnot](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjs_whatnot/gifts).



> This turned out a lot sadder than I intended. Sorry. 
> 
> (I didn't actually match on this fandom, but when I saw your request I had to write this because Han/Leia is one of my oldest OTPs and I have ALL THE FEELS about it after the new movie)
> 
> Title comes from the [song by the same name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ca_Cv7seV4Y) on the Interstellar soundtrack that for some reason kept playing in my head while I was writing this.

Leia tapped her reader to switch the page on the document only to realise that for the last five minutes she'd just been reading the same sentence over and over again without actually comprehending it any of it. She pushed away the reader and stared at the wall opposite her desk. She wanted to go home, to rest, to just _have it all not be_ , but there was no home for her anymore, no rest. Not after...

She shook her head, trying not to think of it.

She'd had R2-D2 send yet another message to Luke, but he was gone. Lost among the stars, as if she'd never even had a brother. And Han...

She sighed, feeling the grief like an iron band tightening around her chest at the thought of him.

She hadn't spoken to Han in days. He was now spending all his time working on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca, 'doing some long overdue upgrades' as he'd told her after the first time he'd failed to come home for the night. He hadn't said it yet in so many words, but she knew that eventually he too was going to leave her. In many ways, he already had, and she'd let him go.

She'd watched her homeworld burn; this wasn't the first time she'd lost everything that she loved. She could cry, she could scream, she could beg, but what good would that do? It wouldn't change what had already happened. She would have to be strong. She would have to be a general now. Not a wife or a mother.

There was a knock on the door, and she knew it would be C-3PO again, worrying in his frustratingly clueless way about the fact that she'd cancelled all her meetings for the day.

"Not now," she shouted, closing her eyes and focusing all her strength to keeping her voice from breaking.

There was a short silence, followed by the sound of the door opening. 

When she opened her eyes, she saw Han standing in the doorway. He looked older than she remembered, even though it had been only days since she'd last seen him. He was in pain too, she knew, and that was why she could never hate him, not even when she already knew that he was going to hurt her.

"I just spoke to Lando," he said. "He has some cargo he needs shifted, and he asked my help to do it." He seemed to wait for her to say something, but when she remained silent, he continued. "I need to test out Falcon's new hyperdrive and this'll be a good chance to do it. It shouldn't take more than a week. Two at the most."

Again he looked like he was expecting something of her, for her to say or do something, but there was nothing she could do or say that would change this.

"I understand," she finally said.

He blinked, and though his expression didn't change she could see the slightest tightening of his jaw. 

"You understand?" He asked, his voice so cold it would have made Hoth seem like a paradise.

She could now see the same anger inside him that was devouring her too, that lingering burn that left her empty and hollow and made everything taste like ashes. 

He opened his mouth to say something more, but was interrupted by Chewie appearing in the doorway. Chewie glanced at her, but didn't meet her eyes, and then growled a question at Han.

Han turned to Chewie, waving his hand dismissively. "Yeah, yeah, I'm coming." 

He waited until Chewie left before turning to her again, but when he did, the fight had gone from his eyes. He sighed. "Well, I uh- I guess I need to go. I'll see you when I get back, Pri- General."

He made a gesture to leave, then paused for a second, again as if wanting to say something else, but changed his mind and turned away.

He was almost out the door when she called after him.

"I love you."

She regretted the words as soon as they were out, hated the weakness in them. But at the same time she also hated herself for not going to him and begging him to stay. 

He turned around, and just for a second, he was again that man that she remembered. The one that she'd fallen in love with on the narrow corridors of that run-down ship of his.

"I kn-" He started, and then paused, giving her a little smile. "I love you too."

She waited until he was gone before whispering: 

"I know."


End file.
